📍 If you only catch up on crypto once this week, start here.
Bitcoin just crossed $80K for the first time since January, US crypto regulation is closer to the finish line than it's been in years, and the man who built his entire brand on "never sell" is doing maths on a napkin. It's been that kind of week. Here's what's actually going on.
Markets are back above $80K and feeling cautiously optimistic — though Saylor's earnings call reminded everyone that even the biggest believers have a spreadsheet to answer to.
Cryptocurrency prices by market cap via CoinMarketCap
The Man Who Said "Never Sell" Just Said He Might Sell
So what happened?
Strategy — the world's largest corporate Bitcoin holder, sitting on 818,334 BTC — reported a $12.54 billion net loss for Q1 2026, then dropped a bombshell on its earnings call: Executive Chairman Michael Saylor, who built his entire reputation on never selling Bitcoin, told investors the company would "probably sell some Bitcoin to pay a dividend, just to inoculate the market."
Why does it matter?
Two things happened at once that confused a lot of people. The $12.5B "loss" sounds catastrophic — but it's almost entirely a paper figure (more on that in WTF below). The genuinely significant part is Saylor's language shift. For years, Strategy's "never sell" conviction was a core part of its identity as the ultimate corporate Bitcoin holder — Tuesday's earnings call marked a clear departure, signalling a willingness to selectively sell Bitcoin to support its financial obligations. Markets noticed immediately: MSTR stock fell 4% after hours and BTC slipped below $81K.
The bigger picture
Strategy's model has been copied by 195 public companies worldwide. If Saylor starts treating Bitcoin as something you can sell — even selectively, even strategically — it reframes the whole corporate treasury playbook. The question isn't whether this one sale moves markets. It's whether it changes how institutional Bitcoin holders think about their exit options.
🟢 Bitcoin Hit $80K Then Dropped on a Fake Iran Missile Report — BTC cleared $80,000 in early Monday trading before reversing sharply after Iran's Fars news agency claimed two missiles struck a US warship. The report was quickly denied by the US — but not before crypto and oil markets both moved hard on the headline. A sharp reminder of how sensitive markets remain to geopolitical noise even as regulation news turns positive. Read more →
🟢 Circle Jumps 20% on CLARITY Act — Bank of America Calls It a Win for the Sector — Shares of Circle surged after the CLARITY Act stablecoin yield compromise was struck, with Bank of America analysts saying it should "alleviate concerns tied to deposit flight" and allow banks to engage with digital-asset infrastructure on more controlled terms. Read more →
🟢 Three reasons why Ether price rallies fizzle near $2.4K — Ether rallies are abruptly capped at $2,400 and multiple data points suggest this pattern will remain in play for the foreseeable future. Read more →
🟢 White House Says Bitcoin Reserve Announcement Coming in Weeks — The White House is preparing to announce new details on the US Strategic Bitcoin Reserve in the coming weeks, according to Patrick Witt, a senior White House digital assets official. Read more →
🟢 Wall Street's settlements backbone just set a date to go on-chain — DTCC — which processes $114 trillion in securities annually — confirmed a July pilot and October launch for its tokenised asset platform, backed by over 50 firms including BlackRock, Goldman Sachs, Coinbase, and Kraken. This is the clearest deadline yet for traditional finance moving to blockchain infrastructure. Read more →
🟢 North Korea is responsible for 76% of all crypto stolen in 2026 — A new TRM Labs report confirms that DPRK-linked hackers account for 76% of all crypto hack losses this year, driven by two April attacks — the $292M KelpDAO exploit and the $285M Drift Protocol hack — bringing total North Korean crypto theft since 2017 past $6 billion. Read more →
🟢 Coinbase just cut 14% of its staff — and blamed AI — CEO Brian Armstrong announced he's cutting roughly 700 jobs and eliminating "pure managers" in favour of "player-coaches," with the company rebuilding around AI-native teams — some as small as one person directing agents doing the work of engineers, designers and product managers. Read more →
🟢 Western Union just launched its own stablecoin — on Solana — The 170-year-old money transfer giant launched USDPT, a US dollar-backed stablecoin on the Solana blockchain, in partnership with crypto bank Anchorage Digital — with a consumer-facing payment service rolling out across 40+ countries later this year. When Western Union goes on-chain, it's not a headline — it's a signal. Read more →
🟢 OKX to Launch Pre-IPO Futures for OpenAI and SpaceX — OKX is set to introduce pre-IPO perpetual futures contracts linked to OpenAI and SpaceX, aiming to provide crypto traders with synthetic exposure to these high-profile private companies. Read more →
🟢 VanEck says Bitcoin could hit $1 million in five years, likens adoption to video games — "Half a decade, I think is possible. When you look at the demographic trends and the intentions of young investors to allocate to Bitcoin." Read more →
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This week's term: Mark-to-Market Accounting
Strategy didn't actually spend $12.5 billion. They own a huge pile of Bitcoin that was worth more at the start of the year than it is now — and accounting rules say you have to write that paper loss into your books as if it were real. Think of it like owning a house: if your neighbour sells theirs for less than you paid, your house hasn't literally lost value yet — but on paper, it has. That's mark-to-market. The money's still there. It just looks worse on the spreadsheet.
Episode 229 - The Week Crypto Split in Three Directions
TIMESTAMPS:
2:22 Redemption arc for Meta
6:26 Hard forking eCash in August?
10:50 Brazil officially ban the use of crypto for cross-border payments
13:55 Short, sharp news bites
Chrome Is Quietly Installing a 4GB AI Model on Your Computer — And Putting It Back If You Delete It
Google Chrome silently downloads a 4GB Gemini Nano model to eligible devices, re-downloads it if deleted, and the AI Mode button users actually see doesn't even use it.
The CLARITY Act heads to Senate markup next week — and for the first time in a long time, the people in the room actually seem to want the same thing. Watch this space.
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